If you’re a heathen like me you may have found yourself occasionally wondering why the Catholics make such a big fuss over Saint Patrick’s Day. Other than a day to get drunk on green beer, what’s the 411 on this supposed Saint anyway? Well William Hopper is ready to help us out with his guide to St. Patrick’s Day for Heathens.

Even the most ardent heathen has to hold some modicum of respect for St. Patrick. … let’s face it: the guy’s responsible for more annual beer sales than the Budweiser frogs and Paul Hogan combined.

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St. Patrick’s Day for Heathens. — Stupid Evil Bastard